Pregnancy doesn’t suit me, I mean it really doesn’t. I feel like something has taken possession of my brain and has completely depleted me of any energy, memory or general common sense. Add to that the acne issues and having cravings for the worst food you could possibly eat whilst pregnant and it’s not as fun as those women on the cover of pregnancy magazines make it look.
So I thought I would share a few precious insights into this whole ‘magical experience’. Sigh.
These aren’t all my own issues, I asked other women of their strange experiences, making sure to avoid the ones having wonderful pregnancies as they will probably reduce me to tears, or maybe anger. Hormones only know.
You can grow a vast amount of hair anywhere on your body and it is perfectly normal
Hairy belly anyone? I’m lucky I have fair hair, If It was dark and thick hair I wouldn’t like to image what wilder beast type creature I would resemble. Alas, I’m just stuck with legs as hairy as a man’s. Before Pregnancy I would apologise to Dara if my legs were too hairy and he would always reply ‘They aren’t hairy. Not like man hairy’. Well I can promise you he isn’t saying that anymore.
Your feet can retain so much fluid that you can go up a shoe size
Enough about pregnancy in general but the last month of pregnancy is a real test of endurance. EVERYTHING is difficult and you’re just utterly miserable waiting for it to be over. On top of this you waddle about the place with gigantic hands and feet. In the summertime, trying to put on sandals that no longer fit is enough to reduce you to tears (or throw them aggressively at the back of your wardrobe in anger).
Your renal system just giving up completely
This is a personal gem of my own. This includes cystitis, bladder infections and kidney infections. Oh Good Lawwd, the first time I had a Kidney infection (In my life), I was 15 weeks pregnant kneeling down at the side of Dara’s bed wimping, whilst he lay on the bed watching Blood Diamond. It is a memory that will never ever leave me. I did not know what the fuck was going on ans somehow made it another 12 hours before getting to hospital and being hooked up to a drip. So when they say ‘drink plenty of water’ when it hurts when you pass urine. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER. I continued to have Kidney Infections every month after that until 6 months after my daughter was born. I have lazy Kidneys that didn’t want to filter two people’s blood apparently.